October 20th, 2010
My energy returned once I took action on projects I had been delaying. The drain had stopped and my spirit rose the more I accomplished. I took on my finances, papers upon papers, cartons of sorting. Where am I and where do I want to be? I scan the papers spread out in front of me and read them like a road map. Here’s where my interest rate went up. This is when I missed a payment. Moving forward, it would be so much easier to be a “one paper” placer. Here is the pile of bills to pay and here is where they get filed. Smarter.
I remember the gratitude I felt when I had the money to pay them on time. Now, it’s a dance, of which ones get paid first. Pretending I wasn’t having a problem was as big if not a bigger source of stress. Now, I speak openly about it and find that many people share my experiences. A lot of us are having a hard time and wonder if it will ever be the way it was before. There’s no way to answer that.
It’s important for me to focus on what to do now which will plant the seeds of my future. Looking at my expenses and seeing where I can simplify and cut back. Tackling my bills and having the difficult phone conversations which, in my experience, have been more positive than I thought they would be. The big companies know we the people are having trouble and are willing to work with us. That’s good news.
With joy and purpose, I ponder what am I passionate about that I lose track of time? What solutions can I provide for people that they need and would be willing to pay for? What can I do in business to market myself better and let people know about my services and the value I add?
I believe, when I look at what I do have and not focus on what I don’t, I am in a better space. I am grateful for my family and loved ones who support me, my mentors for their infinite wisdom, the pride I feel for what I have accomplished in my life so far and how I got there. I trust myself and what I need to do, feeling somewhere that I am divinely guided. It is making a world of difference and I am back to kicking ass again. I am so grateful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Tags: add value, divine guidance, focus on hwat I do have, hard times, interest rates going up, joy and purpose, kick ass, market myself better, missing a payment, one paper placer, paying bills on time, pretending there's no problem, source of stress, stopping the energy drain, tackling finances, trust myself, what am I passionate about, what I am grateful for, what solutions can I provide
Posted in Accountability, Environment, Love, Mind Set, Strategy, Support | 67 Comments »
October 18th, 2010
Today, I am starting over, on my 30 day journey in journaling. My subject is to find inspiration and not wait for it to come to me. There are remarkable events, people and actions being taken every day and it was both challenging and enjoyable to blog about them before and then I stopped, one day short of my goal. A friend died unexpectedly. Very unexpectedly and very disturbingly. I took it hard and started a post about it and couldn’t publish it. Too personal and private. Too raw.
My energy level dwindled and part of me went numb. My mind’s been protecting my heart and the tears have run dry. I can no longer afford to be sad and lifeless. It is time to get back to kicking butt and looking forward again.
In the meantime, I set some positive habits into place. They are habits now since I do them without thinking. I do Pilates every morning, Monday – Friday, at 6am, no excuses. My healthy meals are prepared in the morning and I am no longer having cravings during the day. Dinners can be iffy sometimes and for the most part, I have eaten a good amount of vegetables, fruits, protein, and carbs. My downfall are the weekends when I just let loose a bit and feed my soul, which sometimes consists of ice cream and tortellinis. My gym bag with swim suit and fins are in my trunk and I get to the pool a couple of times a week. My weight is roughly the same as my financial situation. Both could use more focus to get better results. Will it though?
Cleaning house was an inspiration yesterday. Tired of rubbing my eyes in bed lead me to pull out the vacuum, tear down the curtains and beddings, wash down the walls and fan, and polish up the furniture. A woman on a mission. I created a clean, livable, uncluttered space and mind. Hopefully.
My kids have wonderful spirits and they are inspirational. They are wearing their pajamas to school today as the first day of Showdown begins. This competition between grades fosters school spirit and what a good idea to get the ball rolling with PJs! Tomorrow is professional day and I can imagine how much fun it will be to see how they dress for that. College day, school colors day and grade colors day to follow. Early stages of Halloween.
Time for me to act too. Do what I need to do regardless of how I feel. Make calls, set up appointments, do brain work, do what’s hard because I want to be rich and not worry about not having enough money. I want my kids to keep their spirit and not worry. I want us all to be free, with joy and purpose.
Tags: be free, clean house, do what's hard, feed my soul, friend dying, joy and purpose, kick butt, look ahead, low energy, pilates. healthy meals, positive habits, remarkable actions, remarkable events, remarkable people, school spirit, stop worrying about money, unclutter
Posted in Environment, Meals, Mind Set, Strategy | 147 Comments »
September 27th, 2010
When we were kids, my family belonged to a country club that was out of our district. We paid extra for membership and it was a big deal to us. My mother loved to swim and became the swimming coach and social director. Our father played cards and wore a baseball hat so he wouldn’t burn his bald head. My siblings and I lived in the pool, no matter how cold it was, and had to be pulled out when our lips turned blue.
They held races and County meets at the club that we frequently won. We were strong swimmers and practiced how to get across the pool without lifting our heads from the water to maximize our speed. Our basement shelves held all our trophies. Our friends were athletes too and competed with us. Our mom was diligent in doing her laps and she wore the funky bathing caps with the chin strap and flowers. Her role model was Esther Williams and she imitated her graceful water ballet movements. We teased her by calling her Esther and she didn’t mind. It was a compliment to her.
As we got older and the club got more expensive, we eventually stopped going. Somewhere along the way I became uncomfortable with putting my face in the water, probably when I started wearing contact lenses, make-up and fussing with my hair. My swimming shifted to the ocean, where I would gleefully ride the waves and boogy board. The tide and undertow offered more exciting challenges than the predictable pool. Pools, I thought, were boring and for old people.
Now that I have children, they are avid swimmers. They learned when they were babies when I owned a beach house on Fire Island. They swam every day at camp and resented instructional swim because they knew how already. I had to pull them out of the water when their lips turned blue. I hated to go in the water with them, unless it was waist high, so I didn’t get my face and hair wet. Until now.
Packed with my new lightweight racing Speedo, silicone swim cap and kick ass flippers, I have spent three glorious sessions in the Olympic size, 79 degree pool at Eisenhower Park three times this week. I can’t wait to get there and hope I can get a lane to myself. I swim for fun. My muscles get stretched and my limbs are working with minimum stress. I breast stroke, back stroke, side stroke, float and kick, whatever I feel like and really don’t care what I look like. I even busted a few Esther Williams moves that would have made my mother proud. The peace of the pool and the rubbery legs I get after wards override the chlorine and what it will do to my hair. It is a strange feeling to not see in the water without my glasses. It’s all new in a way and oddly familiar. My bag is packed and in my car trunk so at a moment’s notice I am there. I get out of the water when I feel I have swam enough and my lips are never blue.
Tags: boogy board, competing with friends, country club membership, county races, Esther Williams, family membership, father playing cards by the pool, funky bathing caps, lips turning blue, ride the waves, social director, Speedo, swim coach, swim meets, swim races, swimming in the oceam, uncomforatble with face in water, water ballet
Posted in Environment | 61 Comments »
September 17th, 2010
Tonight is the eve of Yom Kippur and here is what Wikipedia says about the holiday:
According to Jewish tradition, God inscribes each person’s fate for the coming year into a book, the Book of Life, on Rosh Hashanah, and waits until Yom Kippur to “seal” the verdict. During the Days of Awe, a Jew tries to amend his or her behavior and seek forgiveness for wrongs done against God (bein adam leMakom) and against other human beings (bein adam lechavero). The evening and day of Yom Kippur are set aside for public and private petitions and confessions of guilt (Vidui). At the end of Yom Kippur, one considers one’s self absolved by God.
This is the opportunity to admit our faults, ask for forgiveness and commit to doing better this coming year. Once Yom Kippur has past, 24 hours after sunset tonight, we have a clean slate. What perfect timing. I think it is important to become conscious and retrospective regarding what we are doing and how we can do better. I teach my children to admit when they make mistakes and I am the first one to admit when I am wrong.
May you be inscribed in the Book of Life and have a Happy and Healthy New Year. I would be grateful to be Skinny and Rich.
Tags: absolved by God, admit our faults, admit when I am wrong, amend behavior, ask for forgiveness, become conscious, Book of Life, clean slate, commit to doing better, confessions of guilt, retrospective, seal the verdict, seek forgiveness, teach my children to admit when they make mistakes, wrongs done against God, wrongs done against other human beings
Posted in Accountability, Environment, Healing, Love, Mind Set, Strategy, Support | 59 Comments »
September 16th, 2010
There I was at 6:18 this morning taking my Pilates class that focused on “long and lean”. The video stream on the TV went haywire. I kept hoping that some one in the TV projection room was awake and would notice that there were technical difficulties and no one did. There was another exercise show that I enjoyed watching which was “Gilad Bodies in Motion” so I switched over for awhile until they fixed the video. Gilad has a great sense of humor and provides a fun workout although not very challenging and now I am a warrior. He also has a lot of reruns going back to the ’80’s and ’90’s.
All of a sudden, he brings on Jack LaLanne, wearing his infamous blue jumpsuit, and speaking a mile a minute. What great shape he was in and he was offering his tips. He rattled off a couple of great expressions i.e., “Your waistline is your lifeline”, and “you need to eat less and exercise more”. He led the class in a couple of exercises and no one could keep up with him not even Gilad. His set of ab work was very advanced Pilates teasers which he did quickly with his legs in a very low position. Everyone was floundering except him. It was hysterical and one of the reasons I love this show.
At break, Jack was gone and my long and lean Pilates class was back on track. I learned a lot from Jack and his energy level. “Energy is everything” as T. Harv Eker would say. If the other show hadn’t had it’s visual problems I would have never gotten to see this amazing man in action and that would have been something to miss.
Tags: enrgy is everything, Gilad Bodies in Motion, Jack LaLanne, Pilates teasers, T. Harv Eker, your waist line is your lifeline
Posted in Accountability, Environment, Meals, Mind Set, Strategy | 102 Comments »
September 15th, 2010
Am I crazy? Training for a triathlon? At 58? Maybe, maybe not. It is comprised of running, swimming and biking. I would have to check this out. My concerns are my ankles that have weakened after so many years of step classes and cardio. Can they be strengthened? I’m a good swimmer and competed when I was younger. I did quite well and my mother was the swim coach. It was a family affair. All my siblings had to compete. We are competitive still. When I was a teenager I used to take bike trips instead of going to camp. I biked through Nova Scotia and Cape May pedaling 60 miles a day. Do I really want to do this?
My reason has to be strong to keep me motivated. Rick, my trainer, is one of the few trainers certified in triathlons and it is of personal interest to him. There definitely are people who pursue these races. Do I have what it takes? Do I want to work that hard? What will it take? I don’t know and I can find out.
So far, my motivation is to get in superb shape and fitness. Is that enough or do I need more? Do I have to go to extremes, from Pilates in the morning to cranking it up to triathlon? Can’t I find something in between? I am too tired thinking of this, still recovering from midnight release madness.
I am meeting my friend, Diane, for dinner tonight and her blog speaks about her weight loss, exercising and triathlon training. She is inspirational and I’m hoping she can help me out here with my concerns and maybe tell me how much time I have before the next triathlon. Aho!
Tags: bike trips, biking, cardio, good swimmer, need strong motivation, running, step classes, swimming, triathlon trainers, triathlon training, weak ankles
Posted in Accountability, Environment, Friendship, Mind Set, Strategy, Support | 2 Comments »
September 14th, 2010
My son loves video games and I love my son. He’s a great kid and going to this midnight release, his first, was very important to him. I buckled under the pressure when he belted out a Glee song randomly. He was excited and his energy gave me momentum since I am usually asleep much earlier. My sweetheart, who is also an early riser, volunteered to join us in this event. Sweet.
It is 10PM and Game Stop is literally a five minute drive away. A line has already formed outside and they are letting a few people at a time inside to pay the balance on Halo Reach or the limited edition at twice the price. Part of the draw of these events is the giveaways and they were raffling off the special Legendary Edition that was sold out. We entered my name and phone number to the raffle and proceeded outside to wait on line with the other gamers and assorted parents for two hours.
As a people and trend watcher, I have to admit we met interesting characters and it was fascinating to watch my son interact with other gamers. There is a world he lives in that I only know from a distance as an outsider and it was worth it to be outside my comfort zone just to watch him so animated.
There was a mom of a seventeen year old and this was her 12th midnight release she brushed off easily as if it was no big deal. She knew about sports too and knew the current scores without any evidence of electronics. I caved and sat down on the side walk watching kids of various ages read their iPods, Kindles, books and Blackberries. One nineteen year old showed me shortcuts of what to do with my video camera if I ever needed a flashlight in an emergency and how to download a Facebook app to my Blackberry. Sadly, there was still an hour left. I started to get really restless with a group of chain smokers and it was impossible to get away from inhaling the toxic cloud. I was tired, cranky and wanted to go home. We waited it out.
The raffle was won by the sports mom and her son and they had bought the Legendary edition anyway so now they had two. I watched them count their dollars before the release in anticipation of some extras like books or cheats. They both seriously needed dental work and yet they spent what seemed their last dollars on this collectors edition. Interesting priority. My son, who really wanted that edition, said he was happy for them and glad that they won it. What an amazing statement from a totally awesome kid. I am so proud of him even if he does curse like a truck driver in true XBox fashion.
Tags: Blackberry apps, celll phone shortcuts, chain smokers, curse like a truck driver, dental work, giveaways, glad they won, happy for someone else, limited edition, outside my comfort zone, people watcher, raffles, trend watching
Posted in Environment, Love, Support | 124 Comments »
September 13th, 2010
Preparation is key. I cooked up a storm of easy nutritious meals that I can grab and eat for the next day. The kids got their book bags and clothes ready the night before. With everything set up, the morning rituals out the door were a breeze. They even brushed their teeth without my nagging and we were ready to go EARLY. It never happened before. What a great way to start the day and week.
Teamwork and support. Everyone pitched in and was invested. How delightfully stress-free in this new land. I got up early even though, I was up late the night before, and was ready for my 6 am Advanced Pilates class, doing my challenging seal and standing upright afterwards.
Catching up at work was not too difficult either since my mind was relatively clear. Even when I got a call from the bank, regarding a program I am in that is ending, I was able to answer questions about business in a positive note. It is getting better. It may be different with other opportunities and yes it is better. Since when? Since yesterday? Since planning? Since I say so? Yes, because I say so.
There certainly are challenging moments with clients, children, vendors and bank balances. The focus is on what worked today and that is very powerful. Tonight, before I go to bed, I plan to write down what I ate, how much I exercised, how much water I drank, what I accomplished and what I want to take care of tomorrow. That way I’ll know exactly how I want my day to go and if it does, great, and if it doesn’t, I’ll be flexible. And that’s how it’s done.
Tags: be flexible, because I say so, business on a positive note, challenging moments, clear mind, geting ready the night before, invested, nutritious meals, other opportunities, pitch in, preparation is key, stress-free, Support, teamwork, that's how it's done, write down how I want my day to go
Posted in Accountability, Environment, Meals, Mind Set, Strategy, Support | 108 Comments »
September 12th, 2010
It’s time. Today I will prepare healthy meals, write business goals, manage my finances, clean clutter and get the kids organized for their first full week of school. That’s a perfect start.
Tags: clean clutter, healthy meals, manage finances, organize kids for school, start now, write goals
Posted in Accountability, Environment, Meals, Mind Set, Strategy | 99 Comments »
September 12th, 2010
It is hard to believe that nine years have past since 9/11 and it is a difficult day to get through that time has not healed. My sister lost her fiance, who worked at Cantor Fitzgerald, and she also worked across the street at the Bank of New York, seeing the towers get hit and people leaping out of the buildings. She and her co-workers ran for their lives. Another friend was in the second tower and gathering her co-workers to get out just in time before that tower was hit. She had also been there the first time the WTC was attacked. Danny and I were in flight mid air heading out of JFK to Ft. Lauderdale when we heard an announcement of the national alert and saw the second tower get hit on TV when we were forced to land in Jacksonville. It was like it was yesterday.
I couldn’t do anything but turn on the TV and found a Ghost Whisper marathon. That’s where I remained episode after episode as if I could find some message or meaning. Are there ghosts really? I believe there are spirits at various stages and I want to be open to hear any guidance. My heart felt raw. We reached out to my sister, surrounded her with hugs, ate comfort food and stayed close to home. Holding on to those we love is the closest we can get to healing.
Tags: Ghost Whisperer, guidance, Healing from 911, hold on to loved ones, national alert, spirits, WTC attack
Posted in Healing, Love, Support | 61 Comments »
